How to attract a soulmate

As a meditation teacher, I’ve had the privilege of working with so many wonderful students over the years. They come to me for various reasons but the one thing they ask about the most is romantic relationships, specifically how to attract a soulmate. 

Several of them have mentioned meditation programs, both online and in-person courses, which promise to deliver a soulmate in x number of days or weeks. It always pains me to burst their bubble when I tell them it’s unlikely they’ll achieve this in that specific amount of time. There’s nothing worse than delivering bad news to a person you care about, though I’d much rather be honest with my students than allow them to fall down a slippery slope of fast-food spirituality. 

There’s unfortunately no quick fix to finding a soulmate. If there was, we’d all be loved up and divorce rates would be non-existent or in single digit territory. If you’re serious about attracting genuine, healthy and lasting love into your life you have to start with yourself. Facing yourself is quite possibly the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Most of us hide behind our egos for far longer than necessary, you have to crush your ego before you’re able to face yourself and this takes work and dedication. There’s no one-size-fits-all, either – what took me 4 years may take you 4 months, and that’s perfectly fine. It’s absolutely worth the time and dedication because you will come out on the other side a better version of yourself.

We live in a society that’s only recently started to acknowledge the importance of self-love and self-worth, the ability to accept abundance and move beyond ancestral limitations. However, as most of us grew up being taught to make ourselves smaller, pour from empty cups and cave under societal pressure, releasing our fears and limitations can be a lengthy process. It’s important to allow yourself the time and energy it might take to unlearn what you’ve been taught so far, release the necessary blockages and free yourself from self-destructive patterns, and that’s perfectly fine. It’s all a part of your specific journey to reach a place where you’re able to fully face and accept yourself (the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful). Once you’ve reached this step, you’ll be able to begin the healing process and start to live as your authentic self. 

Have you noticed how you attract the energy you give off? When your emotional body is in a state of flux, you tend to attract a partner who is on the same wavelength (you always attract partners whose energy resonates with your own). Unless you both strive towards spiritual growth, it is unlikely that you’ll stay in a relationship with this person as you go through the motions of reaching a higher level of consciousness. And that’s perfectly fine – as cliché as it sounds; what’s meant to be, will be. Now, I personally wouldn’t recommend being in a relationship just for the sake of it, though I do think it’s important to experience dating different people (in a safe setting) and get an idea of what you truly vibe with. It isn’t always about what you want, rather what’s important is what you need. This realisation only comes with personal growth, there really are no short-cuts but you can certainly speed up the process by diligently applying yourself to practices such as meditation (breathing, visualisations, sound healing), yoga and Tai Chi. Set an intention which focuses on opening and releasing your sacral chakra, which holds the key to your sexuality, intimacy and relationships, and work with this until you start to feel a release. Working on opening and releasing your heart chakra is important as well, especially as it’s connected to the love, kindness and compassion you have for yourself as well as others. Loving yourself fully and unapologetically is an important step to reach before you can truly give yourself to another person, which is what you will do with a soulmate. 

A soulmate is someone who sees you for who you are and accepts your core essence. To be ready for this kind of relationship you must be able to give the same energy and that does require spiritual maturity. When you have put in the work: crushed your ego, released the blockages and reached a point where you truly love yourself, this person will come, and you’ll embark on a wonderful adventure together.